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1. |
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I remember every corner of your room
All the sixth-gen games and all your plants too
It's a shame we never hung out
Only pictures of the coziest place Oceania ever knew
I knew this was the prettiest girl I've ever seen
With hair catching sunlight and eyes so green
The only brightness in the dark of winter '18
And since then, in my mind, the most tender caffeine
Aisha, come back into my life
Aisha, you aesthetic angel
Aisha
Bare your soul to me, my love, just let it shine
It's just as beautiful as your teeth
You say that you don't like them but I see them all the time
And I know all the love that you keep beneath
This lobby full of faces, they could care less
About the butterflies I have for you
Then you went behind me, pressed up your lips to my ear, and you said
********
Then I woke up
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2. |
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It must've been some summer madness gnawing down
Fever of the heat deep in my mind
I thought that it was love at first sight
So many things I'd give up now
For those first few months back
Imbuing each other's lives
'Fore I was treated like a fool for the first time
So many nights I try to think of where
Where exactly you and I went wrong
But now I know for sure
A feeling's all we want
'Cause I never met you
And I never will
So what is all of this sweet talk for?
But I've always loved you
And I always will
But find someone else who loves you more
I know you'll be behind me when I'm ready to love again
Judging them all from my side
As you have since our love had died
Can't you take it in yourself to keep me from my pain?
Like you could at the start
No, it was just a fling but just for heart
Ever notice when we settled in
Awkward silence starts to fill the air?
Weeks go by without a word
Until my soul hurts
'Cause I never met you
And I never will
So what is all of this sweet talk for?
But I'll always love you
More than almost anyone else
But find someone else who loves you more
I'd take ten million years of endless pain
For one more "I love you" that I could read
But in my health is where I leave you for my life
'Cause I know deep inside you feel the same
Ask for your friends to love you
And do you no wrong
'Cause your holier than thou bullshit
Won't make you holy at all
You made me a promise
Then left me in the dark
Just let me hold on to the one I thought I loved
In our final hours
Threw a blow so cheap
You found someone else
Now find somewhere else to sleep
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3. |
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Waiting for you to
Push me out like you always do
I'm leaving without you again
You don't even care
Oh you say that you love me but it all feels so wrong
Maybe I should give up and move on
Seems you've already moved on
Watching, waiting
For things to change
But deep down, I know
The love is gone
You've already moved on
Seems you've already moved on
Oh you say that you love me but it all feels so wrong
Maybe I should give up and move on
Your apathy gets the best of me
Every night before I go to sleep
I wonder if you'd even notice
If you never saw me again
I know I should forget you but it all feels so hard
I don't wanna live alone anymore, but you're already gone
I know you've already moved on
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4. |
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In the night
Hold you close
I can't tell if
This is real
When you wake
I ask you
Is this love or
Is this lust?
I hold you close
Is this love lost?
Can you tell me
What I'm feeling
I'm stuck helpless
Is this the love or lust?
It's like an animal
I think it's
********
But I know I love the feeling of lustful love
In the night
Hold you close
I can't tell if
This is real
When you wake
I ask you
Is this love or
Is this lust?
Everlasting
My emotions
Think I'm moving
In slow motion
Dreaming, chasing after you
Never nothing I can't do
Better better better better
I can't stop from feeling better
Never never never never
I won't leave you, no not ever
In the night
Hold you close
I can't tell if
This is real
When you wake
I ask you
Is this love or
Is this lust?
I hold you close
Is this love lost?
I hold you close
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5. |
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She love the passion but hate that madness it come with
Been asking to let me go, but it's hard 'cause I keep her coming
If it goes down between us it's 'cause I was up to something
What's dark will come to the light, but it's dim and hard to put trust in
I should do better, that's issues I gotta work thru,
I hurt you 'cause I'm selfish, through silence just know I heard you
I say I know a lot but it's still so much I can learn too
If I'm to love you correctly it's needed for me to to learn you
But who am I to turn to, no models to learn what love is
The weight of my decisions gave new meanings to my crushes
Best communication when we making love or we puffing
If this is a forgone conclusion, I'm hesitating on jumping
We fucking 'til the sunrise, arguing under moonlight
Kiss of death to our egos, an Angel born gave us new life
It's hard for me to sleep with these tears in my eyes like blue lights
Heavy is the dark, but with Son above us it's too light
Falling deeper in this pit of love
We hit the bottom it might finish us
These walls we built they just may limit us
Sometimes I wonder if we did enough
Falling deeper in this pit of love
We hit the bottom it might finish us
These walls we built they just may limit us
Sometimes I wonder if we did enough
This booth is my confessional
Reckless the shit I'd get into
Recollections of better moods
Wish I had been a better dude
Did what I said I'd never do
Pain or peace, you had let me choose
Wrong decisions that lead me too
Planting seeds that had never grew
Trauma broke me, I never knew
How to fix me, whenever you
Scream my name it's incredible
Now my eyes looking dead to you
Love or hate me, you've said it to
Look ahead till it's severed too
Deepest waters I delve into
Die inside of the wettest tomb
I done felt the boom from a love bomb
Cold heart, passion doesn't burn if the love's gone
Pen and pad, write about love but this ain't a love song
Couldn't get it right, was left with nothing, I loved wrong
Love's strong, but I know you needed more from me
You tried to stick it out but my actions felt more like torturing
Said you'd see see the change but the same mistakes kept distorting me
You trusted me to lead but I often misused authority
But surely we can fix it, get closer despite the distance
To toxic for us now, but with time this shit might be different
Done listening to demons, the words I speak for the living
You'll never know the half of my problems to see the vision wave
Falling deeper in this pit of love
We hit the bottom it might finish us
These walls we built they just may limit us
Sometimes I wonder if we did enough
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6. |
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Summer '17 was brutal
Aromantic, dry and frugal
Then you came into my life when love had gone away
High adventures and sweet nothings
And one embrace for our illusion
Another Thursday night with you
But now you got to go, got things to do
That's fine, I got stuff to be at too
I promise I won't stay lying here thinking about you
You're everything I seek, let's go again next week
But, you are just a friend
Another one who needed something warm
And what we have is perfect, please don't let it end so soon
But I like to imagine if there was more
Take me out for a ride, your eyes deceive me
Take me to the other side, oh please don't leave me
We'll do it under the night sky, make it forever
It'll be just you and I, between our tether
When I saw you that night, I thought I could get home so much sooner
Some nights with you are so hard to forget
Looking at the pictures, I looked so pathetic, addicted, and needy
But you looked so incredible
And nothing all the sweet tattooed girls could say to me would take my eyes off you
After that winter we went our separate ways
Memories lasted that sultry gaze
And the sound of you using my shower in the morning, baby
The words we shared were the stuff of dreams
Shining eyes and my heart in flames
What did you whisper in my ear?
The last bit of my passion, it's all for you
Go ahead and take any you want
And if it's coming back, 'cause I feel it coming back
I hope you'll be right here
Take me out for a ride, your eyes deceive me
Take me to the other side, oh please don't leave me
We'll do it under the night sky, make it forever
It'll be just you and I, between our tether
Your blood red hair is heavy on my mind
I can't break away from all those nights
Still think about you, 'cause no-one else will do, no no
Never again I'll feel that way
Just thinking about where we'll be someday
But if I do I'll let you know
Your eyes deceive me
Oh please don't leave me
Make it forever
Between our tether
After all this time, and all those nights, she wants to know how I feel?
Well… I think I love her
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Listen to this release on your preferred platform:
distrokid.com/hyperfollow/venator/darling
This is the first entry in The Aries Triptych. The next entries will be due throughout the year.
As I run out of "this is a new direction for me" cards, I hope the new vibes and styles I'm approaching will be pleasurable to you. Thank you for your support of the Venator project.
A special thank you to close friends in Clare, Joel, Milan, Dave, Ian, Kate, Elijah, and Leah for helping me creatively center these works. Influences of this EP are among Jai Paul, Trevor Something, Thundercat, Lucy Dacus, Isaac Hayes, and Photay.
Thanks to L for being my forever muse.
Hail to the passion that accelerates us.
released April 29, 2022
Clare Follett - vox/lyrics (Moved On/Already Gone).
Clare Marshall - raconteurism (TWADWYWIME).
Ethan Wanderi - vox/lyrics/co-writing (444).
Icarus The Professional - raconteurism (444).
Joel Stead - additional vox and lyrics (FSETS), backing vox (ATSTG).
The Kount - additional drums (Ode to TG).
Luke Fowler - backing vox (ATSTG), recording assistance (Aisha, TWADWYWIME, FSETS, Moved On, ATSTG).
Mack Stardust - synths, programming, piano, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, bowed guitar, bass, percussion, vox, lyrics, mixing, mastering.
Mattie Konig - backing vox (ATSTG).
Michael Pumphrey - mixing assistance.
Orion’s Shoulder - additional synths (Intro).
Paris DeShawn - vox/lyrics (Deeper).
Ryan Rhodes - keyboard (Ode to TG).
Tyler Lieb - pedal steel (TWADWYWIME).
Wil Schade - saxophone (ATSTG).
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Art compiled by Mack Stardust.
Photos from TV Heavens Revive Foe Of In, Kyzetta Kelly (Sevyn), Kiera Marie, Ava Muir, Ben Mack, Marie Orlova, M-ART Production, Leah Kelley, Nicolás Langellotti, Gantas Vaičiulėnas, Nichole Sebastian, and Cottonbro.
www.instagram.com/nerv.ii/
www.instagram.com/kieramariecosplay/
www.instagram.com/aavamuir/
www.instagram.com/benmack_/
www.instagram.com/orlovamaria/
www.instagram.com/mart.production/
www.instagram.com/leahkelleyphotography/
www.instagram.com/nicolangellotti/
www.instagram.com/gantasv/
www.instagram.com/bst.psd/
www.instagram.com/cottonbro/